In the world that we live in today, breakups have become a part and parcel of life. Some are easy to get over while some take years. The most common excuse for a breakup is ,“Sometimes things just don’t work out”. But this time you really wanted it to. You had put all of yourself in the relationship and you really wanted it to workout. But it fails. Once the initial anger and frustration subsides, you think “why?”. Why did it not workout?
Your brain is full of millions of questions, and you don’t have answers to it. So you go back to your partner and beg them to give you reasons on why they ended it. What went wrong? Why did he end it? You believe that if you can understand what went wrong you will be able to fix it. You will be able to save your relationship. But you are WRONG.
What you need to realise is that the boy who left you was a coward.
He was not man enough to understand his own emotions and actions, because then he would realise that all through the relationship he was wrong. The mistakes were his. Yes…he is a coward because instead of trying to make an effort to make things right he chose to leave, to run away from it. To end the relationship with a valid explanation.
As you try to figure out what went wrong, you take trips down the memory lanes of your relationship. You try to fit the pieces, as to which fight was the one that caused the break or which argument pushed him overboard. What was the exact moment when things stopped “working out”. Ultimately your mind is shackled with the chains of these thoughts and they make you a prisoner of your own mind. All this thinking (torture) makes you feel that you were the one who pushed him away or you are the reason why the relationship ended.
While you are killing yourself with these thoughts, he moves ahead and rids himself of all the guilt and imperfections.
And he won’t be done with you just yet, he acts as if he cares, acts as a shoulder you can cry on and assures you that you are stronger than you think and moving on is the best option for both of you. But trust me he is least bothered and definitely does not know how to end a meaningful relationship like an adult.
Yes…forget those vows of love that he made while you were together. He never respected you while you were with him nor will he ever. If you are thinking this is all your fault, it is nothing like that, this is all him. Because if he did love and respect for you and actually cared about you, he would not just leave you. And if he had to, he would explain you everything before leaving.
So dear girl, find your own closure, because if you expect it from him it is not going to happen.
He was damn right about the part where he called you “strong”, because you are. You just need to believe in yourself. Don’t make the mistake of believing that you will never fall in love again, because you will, and you will meet a man who will respect you and love you. He will be your equal partner in a meaningful relationship you build. So just breath and believe!