Repressed feelings are all those moments when you froze, when you thought what’s right, when you realised that what you were about to do was wrong. They are all your sins and your most frustrating qualms. They are the moments when your libido went up to red, the moments you have to live, you had to live. A repressed feeling is a howl in the depths of your soul, that hits you at the brain.
People come, people go and somewhere there, repression comes into the game. Repressed feelings are a damned thing; they can torture you for months and even years. They are a trick of the mind, of the stubbornness, of the fucking human selfishness. They are stories that never started, stories that ended hopelessly with you not having enough time to get what you wanted. Stories that were left in the middle, where you tasted something you have been wanting for so long, but didn’t last, and this something could not hold your hand for long enough to walk along together.
What’s over, is over and if it’s not over yet it will be, but whatever has been left unfinished will be living inside of you like a woodworm and it will be eating you inside out and this is not going to be anything more than your repressed feeling. Have you ever wondered why you have repressed feelings and wishes? Maybe you didn’t speak when you had to, maybe you didn’t run, you didn’t apologize, maybe you just watched love run away and sat there doing nothing? A repressed feeling means distance and you are found a message, a bus ride, a flight away from it.
Think of two separated points and now imagine a line that comes and connects the two of them at the same time. This line will be the line that will also be defining the distance between them. Separates them or connects them? You only know the answer, but if this line is driving past Kifisias Avenue at 12.00 A.M you are screwed. So, be careful about the way you get along with people. Repressed feelings are those paths you stepped once but your mind cannot get rid of the frustrating walk.
Repressed feelings come back but they don’t always have a good timing. They usually knock on the door when you have fixed your life. What are you doing then? “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye…“. This is what the fox said to the little prince and I think you have your answer. The fact that suppressed wishes will keep returning doesn’t mean that you need to have the same bad feelings about them. Wasn’t is that man who put you in ice? How can now everything be the way it used to?
So steps are very simple; You get what you want , you feed your selfishness and you get lost at dawn with a winner’s smile on your face. This chapter has just ended because you never felt like then, because this was nothing more than a caprice. A caprice in his head that had taken huge dimensions. The fulfilment of our repressed feelings is our debunking towards the others. A repressed feeling is an illusion.
Be careful though, because the person that is going to be your fate is out there. Do not confuse him and avenge him thinking he’s one more of your repressed feelings.
“Hunter, I suspect why you kill birds. You avenge your lost wings… So relax. I have a lot of repressed skies to hung myself, but I do not kill the star.”
Photo Credits: Chanel Coco Brown