I hate to admit this, but I am ashamed of my body. In ways, I am ashamed of my personality as well. With every year that goes by, I assume that I am truly happy with myself, only to encounter another clue to my truthful state. I suffer from chronic shame, and it’s what’s keeping me from being happy.
There are many forms of shame, to be honest. Like I said, I felt shame of my body and my personality. Shame can be seen in physical or mental form like that, and often covered up by a sense of elevated pride. If you’ve met someone who seems to be totally in love with every aspect of who they are, and they wish to announce it to the world, it’s possible they suffer from secret shame.
But it’s not a life sentence. Shame can be healed. AS a matter of fact, I am working on my issues right now. Whether you hate your body, your face or your personality, you can learn to appreciate your natural beauty and then show others how to do this as well. Here are a few ways to start the healing process.
Enjoy pleasurable experiences
I know you’ve heard this before,
“I’m going to have fun, going on vacation and buying new clothes, when I lose some weight.”
Yeah, you’ve heard that, even said it, come on admit it! First of all, that’s ludicrous. I know it sounds pretty traditional to the modern woman or man, but it’s just not fair.
Why should you wait until you change the way you look to enjoy life? This is one of the traps that shaming sets for you, it makes you think you aren’t worthy of fun because of the way you look or your attitude. You begin to feel that in order to experience joy, you must change something. But the fact is, joy should come now, happy should be experienced as you are, and love can be yours whether you are 150lbs or 300lbs!
Forget the plans and start enjoying life immediately. This happiness will elevate your mood and help you find motivation that you’re trying to force on yourself right now!
Get away from media!
Considering much of the body shaming and harsh criticism comes from social media, television and certain music, it may help to eliminate this for a while. There are countless videos making fun of certain people because of their looks and their weight. These videos go viral and are seen the world over. They promote shame in some of the worst ways, even causing many individuals to commit suicide from media exposure.
So, how can we get away from the media? I mean, it covers most of the world, streaming negative information at an alarming rate. The only solution is to turn media off!
For a couple of weeks, try to enjoy nature a bit more and media a lot less. Your image doesn’t need the constant pressures to be thin or the endless ads about make up. What you need the most is true love with yourself and your natural environment. Get away from media and learn to adore your image!
If you really want to change your body shape or size, I mean, for you, then try positive reinforcement and motivation. Most exercise regimens are tough, and they aren’t that fun either. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Activity can be enjoyed just as much as inactivity. You just have to know what movements make you happy.
For instance, bike riding, swimming, dancing, yoga, sports-all these activities are just as good as intense aerobics. The best part is you can switch back and forth between these activities and still experience a routine of getting into shape. One important thing to keep in mind is if you don’t enjoy it, stop doing it.
There are other positive reinforcements you can use to eliminate and heal shame. If you feel less than intelligent, start reading, but read things you enjoy. Don’t read boring books or magazines just to increase your intellect. This is not necessary and you will get tired of this quickly. Basically, with everything you do to make improvements, make sure you include interest and enjoyment. Then, not only will you be making a positive change, but you will be having fun in the process.
Refuse negative talk
One of the quickest ways to generate shame is by listening to harsh criticism or negative talk from loved ones. Yes, it’s not the enemy that poses the most harm, it’s the mate, the sibling and the parent. Sometimes its even close friends who make you feel inadequate.
Have you heard these before?
“You look like you could lose a little weight around your waist.” – “You don’t look good with blonde hair.” –
“You can’t pull off a short haircut.”
These comments are toxic and generally come from toxic individuals, even relatives and loved ones, unfortunately. You should never ever let this stuff get under your skin. It causes so much damage, and creates a sense of dependence on those people.
You are strong and well able to take care of yourself. IF you want blonde hair, then dye it. If you want a short haircut, who cares what they think, cut it off! And never let anyone tell you that you should lose weight, and if they do, ignore them. As long as you are healthy and happy, it doesn’t matter what size you are.
Here’s an idea, if possible, lose the toxic people!
Shaming is dangerous. I hate to admit this, but I am ashamed of my body and my personality. My goal is to eliminate these feelings a little at a time until I can recognize my full potential in life. I will do it, and you can too. Just remember, you are beautiful, you are wonderful and that’s good enough!