Anyone who has ever dated a narcissist would know what I am talking about. Those who haven’t, take a lesson from my experience and save yourself the trauma that is sure to ensue when you are with a narcissist.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist, and when I finally broke up with him, I found myself to be a radically different from what I used to be.
It took every fiber of my being to get over him and the negativity that he brought into my life. Before I met him, I was a confident, happy-go-lucky girl who took every challenge that life offered with a positive attitude. After we broke up- I was a nervous wreck who couldn’t come to terms with her reality. Rather than acknowledging that he was no longer with me, I would prefer spending my days in the cradle of sleep and oblivion. The thought that I was never gonna find love again was very real and equally terrifying.
So how did this drastic change come over me?
When he first came into my life, he lulled me into a sense of security and love. He would always be just a call away. I thought I finally found my Knight in shining armor. But it was just a tried and tested technique for him, to make me vulnerable and completely dependent on him. It came to a point where I was agreeing to everything he said, never questioning his motives. It wasn’t as if he had brainwashed me.
Somewhere deep inside I knew that something was not quite the way it should be, but my love for him was so great that I chose to not pay attention to my screaming inner self who was warning me about those red flags. I knew he had many unsuccessful relationships before, but somehow, I believed that I would be the one who’d finally make it work.
But how naive I was!
He was a narcissist; he could never love anyone in the world other than himself. And even that self love was false. He had more insecurities than anyone I knew, and instead of acknowledging them, he projected them on others, on me. This guy made me feel like I was worthless. He would always find faults in me, and I believed him when he told me all of that was for my own good.
I loved him so much that I forgot and neglected my own self.
But when I finally realized that he was, and will forever remain incapable of reciprocating my love, I decided to put an end to this torture which I had inflicted on myself. Breaking up with him and the time after that wasn’t easy. But I rebuilt myself, block by block and today I am happier and stronger than I was before.