Nobody likes a strict parent. In the recent period, strict mothers have received a lot of criticism. Their strictness not only makes the children limited, but it can also result in a lot of confidence and self-esteem issues. Or so we had thought. Recent studies have come up with a completely new theory that will unsettle you. Studies show that strict parents can actually develop better children.
What did the study say about strict mothers?
Now, when we come across the term ‘better’, it becomes a loaded one. What does it mean by being ‘better’? The 2015 study conducted by the Institute for Social and Economic Research has clarified what it meant. According to the study, ‘better’ encapsulates the beliefs and aspirations of any child to get into higher education as influenced by the parents, especially the mother. What it turned out was that about 15,500 schoolgirls who were aged between thirteen to fourteen years of age and had strict mothers were more secure about themselves.
They had gained a lot more emotional maturity too, as there was a 4% lower chance of premature pregnancy among them. Also, they had a higher chance of getting into college, graduating, and finding a stable job. While they may have an independent goal, it is often influenced by their parents. Parental pressure in these cases is mostly healthy and directed toward setting high standards for their children.
Are there any limits to being strict?
Of course, there has to be. Generally, a very good indicator would be to find out whether your children are lying or not. Children will only lie during a situation when they feel like it would be unsafe to say the truth. Excessive motivation or forcing them to be perfect can result in this. Rather than persecuting children for their lives, we should look into the lie and find out our contribution towards it.
So, should there be zero strictness?
Now, that sounds contradictory. If you just want an overview, then you will see that Asian-American children are high achievers and can really do well in most fields due to their intelligence. But their parents are extremely demanding, set very high standards, and punishments are ready whenever necessary. Is that the right way to do it? Absolutely not – especially when you consider what effects it can have on the children’s social and mental side. Rather, there should be a balance of both high standards and parental warmth. There should be open communication present between both the parents and the children.
Now, a balance has to come between two extremes. In this case, it is between permissive and authoritarian parenting.
- Children will have their desires fulfilled easily
- There are no limitations to make them be trained at self-management
- There are no compromises made
- Children do not have feelings like disappointment or sadness as parents make sure that they don’t experience either
- If you discipline children more, they might become rebellious
- They might believe authoritative power is always right
- The relationship will be based on a lack of empathy
- It can encourage lying
As can be seen, both sides have its flaws and its benefits. It’s always best to take some parts of both and then try to combine it together for the best results. That is the way that a ‘balance’ generally works. So, the limits should be placed in a manner that is loving and can be controlled at the same time. For example, if you permit your children to have fun in the back yard, you should make doubly sure that the fences are present and are strong so that they don’t run off into the road. Same is true for parenting – you have to put some limits to make sure it works, within the boundaries of love. So, be empathetic and let your love rise from it. You can be a great parent that way.